The heart is kicking back to me

I am actually in tears..listening on this particular song. It brings back so much memory... I'm the person who never admits i'm soft, has lost her fighting aura on this particular day. This is the first time i became so lonely..Tears over flowed my face, making all my suffering in my heart comes out in tears and in tranquility.. I just can't afford to handle this burden once again in my heart..Too many obstacles that is in my way...and everytime i get through each and every obstacles, there will always be circumstances to undertake..my heart is actually full of sadness and no one knows..only me, myself..and my fragile heart..

There's so many people who hurt me, and i just kept it in. I never cried, never even let my heart touch on her soft side, but let ego take its toll on me..

I can't find ways to beat this sincerity that is coming from my fragile heart, but just to bear it with my soul.

The gift from god came, and light my way with love. I love that person so much and i sacrifice everything by being faithful to him. But all i get back from him is being cheated, three times. I do forgive, but i can't forget. three times is enough to make me wonder was the love that god me real?? or is it just a figment of my imagination..

I can't do anything but just let tears flow from my face. Each and every person that i have ever loved gave me the same results to my fragile heart.. So i left them, and move on. But my heart is taking its toll on me, by making me lonely.

My used to be bestfriend Suria did things which made my trust against her fall apart like a tea cup glass broken into pieces. Gaining my trust back is mending those broken tea cups shattered glass back into pieces, with those itsy bitsy part of it. I loved her so much because she was my bestfriend, but it was shattered because she lied to me in the beginning antil the very end. I forgive, but i never forget.

Cruel things ended in my heart, leaving ego taking its toll on me. Leaving my soft side gone. But now my heart is taking its toll and i can't fight it anymore, because i am deeply wounded in my heart.

I lost everything...

But now i have friends, who cheer my heart up. But not 24 hours. But still they could cheer my day up..

Being sad everyday is like knowing your parents died. So i take this as a lesson, and hope to be imune to it..

And pray that i will have a better life in the future, a better love and friendship.. =)

Stay tune..
Deekay...
=)