For the only person i LOVE

This blog is dedicated to the one and only love of my life. He's name is Hafeez Almudin, he's a year older then me and were both from Likas, kota Kinabalu Sabah. He calls me Ney and i call him biey. We are 7 hours apart from each other right now. And yea, i am missing him so badly. We know each other from friendster. He viewed my profile, so i viewed his. This occur after my SPM on the 16 of December 2006. He sent me a Testimonial and stated that whether my initial "M" where i wore it around my neck, is my name or my boyfriends name. So i replied back saying that it is my name and i asked why? He said that he was curious about the initial M. And so he asked for my YM. So i gave it to him. I onlined, and so did he. However it was only a short chat, because i was bored and there's nothing to talk about. After that, we did not chat for about 1 month, but still, i don't know why i kept on viewing his pictures in his profile and so does he viewed mine too. Apparently, we had a crush onto each other but we just ignored the feeling. So, one day, I onlined, and so does he, he buzz me several times, and i was pissed off because i was listening to some cool music. So i buzz him back acknowledging his call. So, from that part and so on is what brings that story that what made us together now and for all eternity. As our relationship grew, there are our ups and downs, there are times when he looked gloomy and sad He is sad because sometimes i am being to rough on him. And there are times where i did not give him any attention at all. Because i was being so selfish that i wanted more attention from him, i wanted more "manja-ness" from him. He gave me everything that i wanted, but only me. He only wanted some time from me, he wanted to express his feelings towards me, but i just ignored it. Yea, i know, i may be bad, but i am trying so hard to be good to him. But i do not do this thing very often la. Its that just sometimes i wanted to change badly so that he could be happy. Just this afternoon we had a big fight. I made him really sad and say things that i should not say. But as phrases goes through our minds when we are mad just slipped through my mouth. I just wish that he could be there right infront of me and give me a huge slap on the face. Then i know that he really want me for ever. Sometimes i feel bad about him when he is being so nice to me. Because when i think back i always break his heart. Not the kind of "oh i have other boyfriends besides him or i slept with another guy, or i kissed another guy" NO!!!!!! i'm not like that!! I am very faithful when it comes to pure REAL relationship, and i am lucky because i got someone who really cares for me. I love him so much and i never wanna let him go!! Also, there are times when were both are really happy!!! :D...This is when we see each other face to face. I love him so much when i could see his face near mine, when i can feel his warm hands onto my hands. I just love him so much!! Only when we see each other then will we be very lovable. I just can't stand the long distance were having!! i'm very happy if i could see him everyday physically. I love him so dear much when he is not here with me, if i just think about him, my heart is about to explode because he's not right here beside me. I want to hold him, because i sayang him so much. I love him till eternity!! Biey, i know sometimes i could be really a pain in the ass sometimes, but i always loved you, and there's no other guy beside you in my life. I want us to be together forever and i want to have a life and future with you. I love you so much biey, there's no other words could explain how deep is my love for you. Just mere words are not enough to cover up all of my feelings and love towards you. I miss you. Everyday, every second, every moment of my life. I need you badly. I just want you to be beside me for all eternity. I just want my time to be done here in Kedah so that When i am in Shah Alam i could see my biey!!!! yay!!!! i'm so happy that i could see you darling!!! hehehe..

And i am sorry, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY SORRY for anything that i have done to you. It's just that, i did not notice my fault until you point it out to me. By then it was too late for you were heart broken and my apologize was not enough to cover your heart. All that i want you to know is that i loved you so much darling, more the words itself.
...I love you so much darling!!!

Yours truly,
Ney~