Sunday, November 15, 2009


I am in my room here in damansara. The eyes are sleepy, but i was tempted to do this while i have the chance to do it.

Its been the past 4 month since my stay as a degree student. And in that four month is where everything happened from heaven... to hell.

Assignments, presentations, reports, tests and quizzes are being quite the " killing machine ". I just go with the flow, and alas, made it till the end. However, things don't turn out great for me, and there's a twist in my heaven. Things started to crumble slowly, and i noticed that, yes i may have to lose someone dearly to me for the sake of my goal and my accomplishment of what i have to do.
God wants me to see that, achieving what i wanted is not that easy, and there's just things that should be learned before you give full commitment on the things you want. Sometimes, without knowing the experiences of your commitments may kill you~

And so, the relationship that i had holding for the past 2 years and 10 month, has ended. If you say whose fault is this, well both of us are at fault, but he seems to be blinded of my gift to foresee his REAL AND TRUE intentions. Knowing it silently, made me perceive that the world is a challenging place to live. And little does he know he just turned me into a dangerous weapon against him.

I know that little and vicious intention he wants from he's " Time alone ". Although there are positive and negative side but. I can't risk the chances because. He's like giving me hope but at the same time killing my feelings with his words. I'M NOT STUPID. And so, i don't know if this is dugaan, or cabaran, but whatever it is, i want to forget him and live my life as i wish. And also, to have the strength to break through this situation. All your sweet talks and lies will never be deceived by me anymore. Because, something wrong somewhere, but don't know where. that is your mistake. Like wise man said, org akan menjadi buta dgn bnda yg ada di dpn mata drg. Encode it, translate it, decode it and assign meaning to it. You'll understand and realize that someday, you are gonna get your " balasan ". Because, i have seen it coming, due to your continuous attitude, i can see that you are going to be paid for your sins. you just wait and see. What we want doesn't always have to be given just like that through what you prayed for. Sometimes, what we prayed for will be given to us physically. And that is when the table starts to turn. In order to achieve what you prayed for, you must understand, and feel the things you did to others.

Even though it pains me for knowing your intention silently, but, this is what i have to go through to achieve what i prayed for.

If you are reading this, and i don't doubt that you do..
You just have to face the consequences. Because, anything could happen. you said you want to correct the things you did in your life, well then, you'll see, feel and understand someday that want you want isn't exactly in the form that you expected. :)

Till then: